J. Moore
Grandpa, I am so sorry I didn't have the chance to say goodbye or to tell you how much you meant to me. I never thought I would be able to write this, but it took me some time to really think of what to write. I am sorry that I disappointed you so much that you didn't want me to know you passed away. I was sitting down and having a conversation about Grandma and I wanted to show someone her beautiful picture and when I clicked 'Search' in to Google search bar I saw your picture and couldn't believe my eyes. I fell to the floor and cried so hard. I never thought that no one would tell me that you had passed. Everyone kept their word in keeping the secret. It was on January 2nd 2019 that I found the obituary. At first I was angry, but then Aunt Ginny told me your wishes and I had to accept your wishes were your wishes. It hurt me to the core that you felt that way about me. I admit that I was not the best person for a while and I wasn't myself. I hate that I was ever that person. I have to deal with all of this for the rest of my life no matter how much I have changed for the better. I have come a long way. But even though I have got so far in my life and raising a family, what will always hurt is that all my children will never know their Mom's family. I will tell them that it is my fault that everyone turned their backs on me and why. I know that no matter what I do or say I have torched the chance of having my family in my life ever again. I just want you to know that I am sorry for everything and I will always love you. I will never forgive myself for being a disappointment to our family. I guess I will never be able to make it right. I feel so alone after having a family for 26 years of my life to like a flick of a switch I mean nothing to anyone in our family. It hurts everyday and will forever more. Again I am sorry for everything and I hope that you and Grandma are resting in peace in the kingdom of heaven together again.
